It was a silent night. Snowflakes whizzing, floating, drifting slowly through the air. Falling, falling, falling—gently covering the earth with a white blanket. The messed up world made white as snow.
Knees bent in front of the old wooden cross, I see through the stained glass- a scene like I’m praying on the inside of a snowglobe. Twinkling lights make the cross glow and I look up in wonder. My safe place. Alone. Just God and me. Whatever craziness is happening outside, I am safe here. This sanctuary knows many secrets, many hurts, many tears and many joys. Births, deaths and baptisms, new beginnings and endings, joy and heartache.
A tear hits bended knee, making a splash, awakening me to my own longing, sadness, glory, healing, confession…all those things that come to an open and repentant heart… a worshipping heart. I am small. God is big. He is the light of the world.
What would I do if He manifested himself in physical form, right here, right now? I am already on my knees. Outstretched arms like that of a child, I would probably cry out Abba, Father. Perhaps I would bow my head in shame..shame that I am nothing and he is the Great I Am. As evening grows dark and stillness falls around me, I make the sign of the cross-touching forehead to belly, side to side—covering myself with the body of Christ, it carving itself into my wanton soul.
Our King of Kings prostrated himself on the cross as an act of worship. As an act of sacrifice so he could bear our hurts, tears, joys, births, deaths, baptisms, beginnings and endings–this little Child, born in a manger. There was a man one Sunday while the preacher was preaching. In drunken worship he wandered to the cross and laid himself prostrate, belly down, arms stretched wide for all to see. Preacher kept preaching while the congregation looked at one another in silent and humble wonder. A messed up world became holy for a moment, white as snow in the sanctuary of a country church. Hearts softened as onlookers watched this man worshipping –his actions boldly warning, “this is why we are here…not to focus on the preacher…but to worship the King of Kings, The Great I Am”…If our hearts were free from judgement and insecurity–how many of us would have joined him?
It is Christmas Eve and I must make my way home to my family. I open the back door of the church and a beautiful blanket of snow covers me, falling, falling, falling gently. I too, am made white as snow. Tears of joy run down my face. Thank you, Abba, Father. The light of the world, the God who sacrificed himself so people like us could lay prostrate freely on a Sunday morning. We were made for worship.
You are the Great I Am. The answer to wanton souls. The star in the night sky that glimmers from a distance…always there, always lighting our way in the darkness. The beginning and the end. The Christ child, born in a manger.